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NOTE: This letter appeared in The Moultrie Observer on Saturday, December 3, two days after I submitted it and a day following the Packers season-ending loss to the Grayson High Rams. The day it was written, GPB announced it would not air the Colquitt-Grayson game on its flagship station as expected, scheduling it for a smaller network, GPB Knowledge, a channel we don't get in our hometown. Offended, I wrote the following piece. I was surprised at how many people missed the sarcasm and took it at face value. Check out the comments on The Moultrie Observer page. Definitely worth the click. For the record, I love football, probably too much.
MOULTRIE — Dear editor,
I am writing with regards to Georgia Public Broadcast’s (GPB) Friday night television schedule and its decision to air Rick Steves’ European Insights instead of the Grayson-Colquitt semifinal GHSA football game.
Georgians (and Southerners in general) are characterized nationally as backwards and out of touch with progressive culture. We are mocked for our low test scores and high poverty, our accents and our dress. We are called uncultured, illiterate, and, perhaps most commonly, redneck. "Welcome to the South," they joke. "Set your watch back 50 years."
So when I saw GPB removed the GHSA football semifinals from its lineup, I was pleased. Georgians need more exposure to the greater world and Rick Steves is just the man for the job.
This Friday’s episode, for instance, touts Rick’s "travels through Europe [and includes] stops in Pisa, the Mauthausen Concentration Camp, Hitler's Eagle's Nest in Berchtesgaden and the Danish Nazi Resistance Museum in Copenhagen. Also: Europe's ethnic diversity and infrastructure investments are explored."
Fantastic stuff, really, and so much more exciting than a football game between two of the state’s best squads. Rick Steves will provide information so pertinent to daily life, yet strangely inexplicable to most Southerners. I can't even estimate how often I have attempted to talk to my coworkers about the intricacies of Serbian race relations or the Grecian debt crisis, only to have them look at me as I look at the "art" of Marcel Duchamp (you get the reference, I’m sure).
Simply put, Georgians need more exposure to European culture; GPB on Friday night would be an excellent place to start.
As well, it is past time someone took a stand against King Football in this state. Our obsession with this "game" is astounding and, quite frankly, unhealthy. Consider the scene at Mack Tharpe Stadium here in Moultrie on a football Friday night in the fall. Thousands from Colquitt County, people from all walks of life – blue collar and white collar; white, black, and Hispanic; Republican and Democrat; rich and poor; old and young; entire families – waste nearly three hours of their lives sitting side by side together, watching a high school football game when they could be home reading the latest issue of The Economist or learning about The Netherland's dike systems with Rick Steves.
They scream and chant and sing and laugh and boo, sometimes all in the space of just 10 minutes. They blow obnoxious vuvuzelas, shake cans full of pennies, and contribute to the national obesity rate by snacking on high-fat, low-nutrient foods. They are deliriously elated by a win and ridiculously disappointed with a loss, all over watching high school boys run around with a piece of leather. I bet not a single one of them was that excited after reading Brian Schmidt’s Nobel Prize winning research on universe expansion and supernovae development.
To cap it off, for the next week, that GAME is all these slack-jawed troglodytes want to talk about! Not a single time this fall was I solicited for my opinion on wealth inequality in modern America. Yet, I was asked seven times this past week if I would have made the same decision as Coach Propst to go for two at the end of the Camden game. How sad to take such pride in 48 minutes on a game clock! How hopelessly backwards.
Yes, GPB made the right decision by removing the playoff game from Georgia's televisions. I only hope Moultrians will take this opportunity – this freedom from football's demagoguery – to better themselves this Friday night. I for one anticipate long conversations on Monday about Italian efforts to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa in lieu of the typical Packer-driven water cooler fare, because I know that, even with the game not on, the majority of our town will still tune in to GPB for the fine cultural programming it offers us every Friday night.
I am writing with regards to Georgia Public Broadcast’s (GPB) Friday night television schedule and its decision to air Rick Steves’ European Insights instead of the Grayson-Colquitt semifinal GHSA football game.
Georgians (and Southerners in general) are characterized nationally as backwards and out of touch with progressive culture. We are mocked for our low test scores and high poverty, our accents and our dress. We are called uncultured, illiterate, and, perhaps most commonly, redneck. "Welcome to the South," they joke. "Set your watch back 50 years."
So when I saw GPB removed the GHSA football semifinals from its lineup, I was pleased. Georgians need more exposure to the greater world and Rick Steves is just the man for the job.
 | |
| Rick Steves, looking more awesome than I expected |
This Friday’s episode, for instance, touts Rick’s "travels through Europe [and includes] stops in Pisa, the Mauthausen Concentration Camp, Hitler's Eagle's Nest in Berchtesgaden and the Danish Nazi Resistance Museum in Copenhagen. Also: Europe's ethnic diversity and infrastructure investments are explored."
Fantastic stuff, really, and so much more exciting than a football game between two of the state’s best squads. Rick Steves will provide information so pertinent to daily life, yet strangely inexplicable to most Southerners. I can't even estimate how often I have attempted to talk to my coworkers about the intricacies of Serbian race relations or the Grecian debt crisis, only to have them look at me as I look at the "art" of Marcel Duchamp (you get the reference, I’m sure).
Simply put, Georgians need more exposure to European culture; GPB on Friday night would be an excellent place to start.
 | ||
| Marcel Duchamp's most famous "work." For real. |
As well, it is past time someone took a stand against King Football in this state. Our obsession with this "game" is astounding and, quite frankly, unhealthy. Consider the scene at Mack Tharpe Stadium here in Moultrie on a football Friday night in the fall. Thousands from Colquitt County, people from all walks of life – blue collar and white collar; white, black, and Hispanic; Republican and Democrat; rich and poor; old and young; entire families – waste nearly three hours of their lives sitting side by side together, watching a high school football game when they could be home reading the latest issue of The Economist or learning about The Netherland's dike systems with Rick Steves.
They scream and chant and sing and laugh and boo, sometimes all in the space of just 10 minutes. They blow obnoxious vuvuzelas, shake cans full of pennies, and contribute to the national obesity rate by snacking on high-fat, low-nutrient foods. They are deliriously elated by a win and ridiculously disappointed with a loss, all over watching high school boys run around with a piece of leather. I bet not a single one of them was that excited after reading Brian Schmidt’s Nobel Prize winning research on universe expansion and supernovae development.
 |
| A troglodyte |
Yes, GPB made the right decision by removing the playoff game from Georgia's televisions. I only hope Moultrians will take this opportunity – this freedom from football's demagoguery – to better themselves this Friday night. I for one anticipate long conversations on Monday about Italian efforts to stabilize the Leaning Tower of Pisa in lieu of the typical Packer-driven water cooler fare, because I know that, even with the game not on, the majority of our town will still tune in to GPB for the fine cultural programming it offers us every Friday night.
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